Back to Basics: Button up

There was a time when, as women, we respected ourselves enough not to give our goods away for the promise of a go to buddy when we felt lonely.  Now a days it's all about the act of making love, but the truth is, it isn't love or even like for that matter. Our morality is crashing down around us and we are the decay in the foundation of said morality.  I suppose if we don't care about our own reputations, at the very least we should care about our daughters.  We are inadvertently dragging them down to the depths of dismal self-respect with us as we partake in the forbidden fruit...friends with benefits and the like.

As a woman who did the online dating thing for four years and wrote a book about it the subject no longer shocks me, but it does sadden me.  If even as adults we don't know better...how do we expect our children to?  If we don't have the capacity to claim respect for ourselves, we certainly won't be teaching them how to.

Sex is a big deal and it needs to be treated as such; not just by our teenagers, but by ourselves.  We need to talk to our children!  Step up and stop waiting for someone else to do it...someone else isn't vested in your children...but you should be!  Why are we letting our kids make these kinds of monumental decisions for themselves?  We give them the tools to take advantage of sexual situations by allowing them to go to their rooms with the opposite sex, stay out till all hours of the night and not tell us where they're going.  We need numbers, destination addresses and parental partnerships where you actually know the name and have met your daughter or sons friends mother/father.

Sex has always been a lure from one generation to the next be it from peer pressure or merely curiosity, but you don't have to make it so easy to achieve for them.  We just need to slow our days down, pay attention, talk and realize that respect doesn't change from one generation to the next...at least it shouldn't!  It's okay to go against the grain of the "toleration" generation and just say no!

Realize that what you do in your own life, especially if you are divorced and dating does have an affect on the way your child experiences the world and what they will deem as acceptable behavior.  You don't have to have sex to snag someone special, in fact, if you wait it turns out to be much more rewarding and honest in the end...I speak from experience.  It may seem condescending to give a reminder to adults that should have and may have been given this same reminder years ago, but it's warranted because we've forgotten.  Even as adults, we seem to be confused about our roles in the world so I'm here to tell you it's still okay to say no!  I realize we live in a quick gratification society, but I promise you  there is nothing gratifying about being used.  Besides, sex and quick should never be used in the same sentence...just sayin.

Let's get back to basics for ourselves and our children.  Being able to admit that you've been doing it wrong and demanding respect for yourself rather than a one-night stand is what makes you an adult and being able to demand it from and for your children is what makes you an exceptional parent.

Be part of the back to  basics trend and button up!

Sincerely,

Back to basics

Somewhere a long the lines women lost sight of dress code etiquette when trying to entice the male species.  Sadly, today it starts at a much younger age.  I haven't decided if that's because the divorce rate is so high and so many of us middle agers are out there dressed to kill...your reputation that is.

There is an inappropriateness to our dating dress code and we've seemed to have made it a trend.  Not always by dressing that way ourselves.  Sometimes it's simply by allowing our daughters to dress that way.  Are they imitating us?  Or are we imitating them?  Either way it's the wrong message!

What ever happened to "leave a little to the imagination," or "why buy the cow, if you get the milk for free?"  Yes they are old fashioned, but sometimes old fashioned is a good thing!  For instance grandmas chicken soup for that common cold.  We need to get back to the basics again both in our own wardrobe and those we are passing our feminine torches to...our daughters.

There is nothing more unappealing than a forty-something (keep in mind I'm a forty-something) sitting at a bar with her boobs on display.  It wreaks of desperation ladies.  Now before someone goes postal on me for my views...know that I always speak from experience...in other words...there was a time when it was my boobs at the bar.

There is equally nothing more unappealing than the 15 year old dressed for homecoming in a skirt short enough to display her...eh em...daisy.  For God sake...if she bends over the whole world will know her business. 

We are collectively sending a message and not so subtly I might add.  I wonder if it is really our intentions to sink that low and why we feel like we have to?  I'm not suggesting that we put a penny between our knees when we sit down with our dates or during school.  Nor am  I talking turtlenecks in July.  However, keeping the parts protected for a little while...you'll find...will give you more power than you know.  And should you snag the bachelor you've been eyeballing...what a prize he will have waiting for him when you are ready!

Dare to be different!  Start the back to basics trend!

Sincerely,

Back in the saddle again!

So sorry to my readers that I've been gone for so long!  Planning and actually following trough with a wedding...MY wedding to be exact is quite taxing.  Moving in the man stuff, the man and his little man...even more taxing!  It's not that I'm not completely happy and content, it's simply that the euphoria of dreaming about being under the same roof has become a reality and a balancing act of independence and shared space.  Another blog subject perhaps??

On the writing front, I am just now getting back into the swing of things and I've missed my clicking keys so much!  Really pushing to finish "The Pendant of Promise" a love story for you hopeless romantics, as well as a book of poetry with photography that's been in the making for 4 years.  Man how time flies!

On the dating front, which I am no longer a part of...THANK GOD...I see that Match.com has moved to the next level by hosting singles events.  Good for them!  It may not eliminate the perpetual liar or player, but it should cut down the online stalkers who never leave the glow of their computer screens.  It's a step in the right direction I think! 

I'll be posting again tomorrow. I just wanted everyone to know I'm alive and well :)

Peace Out